New Year's Eve

I really quite enjoyed NYE this year!  I started out hanging at the Sampietros, getting to see roughly the entire Sampietro clan, with the exception of Mia.  Mr. Sampietro was there, and he and Mrs. Sampietro got divorced years ago.  Even Mary was there, and I haven't seen her for years and years and years.  We played Scrabble, after watching the mini-movie objet d'art avant-garde narrativeless jewel Therese, Anne-Marie, and Sara had made :)  Really, I enjoyed it in its madness.  Too soon, however, I had to leave to go toast the New Year elsewhere.

So I dutifully headed out CR 302 to Angela's Dad's house.  Unfortunately I managed to miss a landmark -- a bridge, please don't ask me how, I don't know, I drove right over it --  and drove far further than I intended down the dark, narrow, creepy road.  I swear to you on all that is holy, I heard the beginning of "Dueling Banjos" as a toothless old man stumbled out of the woods and offered to bugger me if I should but squeal porcinely [this sentence is a perfect example of why you should keep implements of writing out of my reach].  Eventually I found where I was headed and met up with quite the lot of people in the barn.  I didn't even know that Elaine's keepers were letting her out of her cage for the holidays!  (She's in missionary boot camp.  You did not misread that.)  Finally I was forced to leave there as well, so as to go to yet another place (yes, that's me, social butterfly?).

And thus I ended up at Erik's place.  I managed to get there before the whole world was too drunk to recognize me, so that was cool.  Erik's aunt had made an inordinate amount of food, including my favorite thing ever, pork on a stick!  I remember getting it at the Filipino booth at the Multicultural Festival when I was little... the only thing that even approached it was the chicken of a stick from the, er, Chicken on a Stick booth.  Apparently I like meat on sticks.  Let's not read too deeply into that.  Eventually I headed home at about 4am, and then slept like the dead until after noon the next day.  Happy New Year, everybody.

You remember that meat on a stick bit?

On second thought, let's read too deeply into that.  While being f-locked[edit: now public], because I am a bad person, as we shall see.

So, a few days before NYE, I had been over at Jenny Fain's house watching Cinderella Man.  During the course of the movie, Erik and I had started flirting, and to make a long wine-soaked story short, we ended up making out in a bathroom.  Ok, we ended up making out in two bathrooms.  I have since been informed that this may, in fact, be trashy, and I haven't yet found a way to argue that except to say "Nuh-uh!"

Fast-forward to NYE, when I ended up at Erik's.  I would be a liar if I said that I didn't have motives beyond just seeing friends and celebrating with them.  So... when he dragged me into the study and we started making out, it's not as if I was objecting.  There was a brief interruption where I had to help out a drunk friend, but eventually we (me and Erik, not me and the drunk friend) ended up out in the... garage?  I've been calling it a garage, but it's really more accurately a storage room cum laundry room.  No cars.  Anyway.

So... we made out for a while, he sucked on my dick, I sucked on his.  And then he went back down on me, and godDAMN that man gives a fine blowjob.  I haven't come that long or that hard in a long damn time.  Seriously, back arched over a dryer (? it was dark) gasping and grabbing the edge of the machine.  Loved it.  I felt absolutely huge; pseudo-psychosomatic effects are too much fun.

Right.  So then I was quite prepared to try my hardest to do the same for him.  Turnabout's fair play, right?  It's only polite.  Throughout the entire makeout session, Erik had been conflicted - he was the host, he should be playing good host, etc etc.  So... then he pulls me up and says he has to go be a good host, but "you owe me."  (This last not in a creepy way, I should note.)  I agreed, which was my first mistake.  You see, I had really envisioned this whole thing being a one-time occurrence, and now I had tacitly committed myself further.  Blast.

And then there was the cute touchy-feely holding hands thing the rest of the night, not to mention the little kissings etc throughout.  This was my second mistake.

So... I saw him Sunday in the company of others, but nothing happened.  And then he tried to call me Monday, and -- here's my third mistake, be ready for it -- I hung up (well, silenced the call).  I did this multiple times.  The better choice would have been to just pick up and deal with the situation.

So now we're at the present-day, and I still haven't talked to him.  I feel like a bad person, mainly because this is the kind of behavior that I usually deplore.  I feel like such a man, in a very very bad way.  It's not the one-time thing, although I've got a couple of hangups there, I suppose; it's the fact that I feel like an asshole.  I should have just been upfront.  I know he was upset, I heard this from mutual friends, and even if I don't care about him 'in that way' I don't want anybody to get hurt.  So now I have to send him an email (I just... can't do the phone), and I have to decide whether to come clean or to tell a plausible lie that might portray me less assholeishly and might not hurt him as much.  I'm quite aware that coming clean is the better choice, but I'm not certain if I'll manage to do it.

This sort of drama is usually reserved for actual relationships.  I fail at life *rolls eyes*.  That having been said, I totally got some on NYE, and it felt good, heh.

Face fur

Like most men in my family, I don't have the thickest of facial hair (ours doesn't actually fill in until, oh, the late twenties/early thirties).  I never went through that weird phase many highschool guys go through where they suddenly have a deep-seated need to grow chin pubes (not a goatee, just that weird little patch almost on the underside of the chin), mainly because it would have been beyond ludicrous.

So I've never grown out my facial hair, ever, because give me a break.  I've got this little while in front of me, though, and I've already been atrociously lazy for the past couple of days, and I'm tempted to just see what it does.  Well, at least in the mouth area; my cheeks are beyond sparse.  It will not be pretty.  I've got weird hairless patches on my chin :)  Also I feel a bit gross.  Eh, we'll see.  I'm just writing for writing's sake.