Rotate the foodstuffs!

This started out as a reply comment on the previous entry, but it started ballooning to proportions that I would deem excessive for a comment.

So, here's the thing: the subtext to my dislike of that vodka-based evil is that I really have a great dislike for vodka in general.  Let me talk through this. 

Vodka is supposed to be flavorless, yes?  In a truly perfect, Platonic-form sort of way, vodka is served at approximately 32 degrees Fahrenheit, and feels like nothing so much as an ice-cold fire in your belly.  And in that incarnation, I'm totally on board: give me some frigid vodka (I've always wanted to drink it out of a hollowed out ice block!), some smoked salmon, and some rye bread, and we can call it a party.

But then somewhere along the way, vodka got everywhere, especially into mixed drinks, and this is where things went horribly, horribly wrong.  It's a flavorless liquor.  So in a mixed drink/cocktail, it serves no purpose but to increase the alcohol content of the drink in question.  It brings nothing else to the table: no flavor, no spice, no qualities that can be layered and toyed with -- zero.  It's a liquor whose entire point is to lead to drunkenness as a goal, rather than as a place you might happen end up thanks to enjoying a good, well-constructed drink.

So in, for example, a vodka mojito, you're only getting mint and lime, without that hint of cane flavor that a clear rum brings.  Or in that most demonic of liquid abortions, the vodka martini, you're basically asking the bartender to please give you a pointy glass of nothing (except that in many bars it's actually a pointy glass of Absolut, which tastes alarming of chemical blech [I really, really, really dislike Absolut -- it's good for nothing]).

But what about fruity drinks?  You know, 'girl drinks'?  Well, just to put all my cards on the table: I think they're mostly vile, over-sugared cups of badly named crap.  For the few that aren't -- and I'll include, for example, the venerable Cosmopolitan -- I think they might benefit a lot from a clear rum, and probably more from an amber rum.  But that's beside the point.  Most fruity drinks seem designed to taste as little of alcohol as possible.  And while I think that's... well, a little silly, frankly, but whatever... it's not necessary to go for vodka.  A good liquor will have balanced flavor without reeking of alcohol (and in fact, most mid-level rums/whiskeys/gins/etc taste far less 'alcoholic' to my palate than comparable vodkas), no matter what kind it is.

So I guess in the long run I think vodka's a waste of space.  I'd be perfectly happy if all the bars got rid of all their vodka, except for a couple bottles stashed in the freezer.  Then maybe some bar patron might actually order a *gasp* decent drink.  And I wouldn't have to specify a gin martini, which is annoyingly redundant.

Am I an elitist snob?  Probably.  But I'm also right, which helps.